numb…

lol. why do i constantly feel let down? either i let myself down or someone else helps. i try to not have expectations because history has shown that when i become hopeful and happy, it will be ripped from me. every. fucking. time. why do i even bother? “don’t let it get to you.” “if its meant to be, it’ll be.” i’m just so sick of it. i’m sick of not even finishing, fuck last. i feel everything and yet absolutely nothing, sitting here typing on this blog, channeling whatever it is into these words so that i don’t show it at work. i just don’t get it. i don’t fucking get it. why do i even try? why do i even care? why can’t i be like other heartless bastards and not let things and people affect me. and why do they constantly punish themselves, torturing me in the process? i hate this…

Change…

I’ve been noticing some changing walls around the city. In addition, there are new pictures up on Flickr and Picasa. Let me know what you think.

For more graffiti snapped by me:

Graffiti Photos

New Aesop Video…

Aesop Rock’s “Coffee” feat. John Darnielle

(^_^)

私は非常に幸せである!

Story Time…

Unfortunately, I have been without music during my travels until I finish repairing my ear buds. Luckily, I still have music on my computer at work and this song has been in my head for the past couple of days. Here is the story “The Harbor Is Yours” by Aesop Rock off his album None Shall Pass.

Throw your babies in the air.

Dead men tell no tales.
Just up push the daisies till the soil is stale
In a padded blue tux for the farmer’s sale
Mr. big sleep with the carp and kelp

Once upon a time in the days of yore
when the people lived fresh outta legend and folk lore
There was an old pirate who piloted vial slang
had a bird perched on him and swash buckled the same
peg leg navigator starboard to port
by the nautical star of ?”mael”? an the harbor is yours
and you should tell them where you situate the gold
that is unless you’d like a vacation with davy j-j-j-jones.

like “walk the plank” for whom the shark thank
maroon the mutineers consume the souvenirs.
come all the shiny spoils piled higher every year
he was suffocating slow in the box of a buccaneer
ten summers prior on a night like this
crows nest scopes something afloat to the boats west
swore it blew him a kiss
when he focused saw the face of an angel upon the body of a
f-f-f-fish.

“What the heck!” grabbed for his telescope
shatter gathered himself
she was ghost he was down the rope latter
to deck circled the vessel the 360 swiftly
found nothing in the water but salt, piss and whiskey.
Yarr,
heckled by the swabbies at the bar,
he’ll be the laughing stock of the barbary coast war
like this dude either got two glass eyes
or he wearing his patch on the wrong s-s-s-side

Now he knew what he saw
But had to prove he was raw
So he raped and he pillaged and
and he’d feud and he’d brawl
try to rekindle his rep via sabers and gun smoke
and battle always find him though he never told cutthroats
Meanwhile, back in the now,
Got a brand new skeleton crew
On the move out
When they aren’t manning thirty burning cannons sternum bow
they are prying shiny metals out your m-m-m-mouth

Okay, youth wanes old age holler wisdom n disease
like the scurvy made his yellow gums bleed.
And he was aching from his boots to the feather in his cap
till his quartermaster showed up with a stolen treasure map
One look down and leapt off the dock,
see if you can guess where X marked the spot
The capital was buried at sea in a cursed cave,
only one mile from where he’d seen the mer-mer-mer-maid.

anchors up, hoist the jolly roger thank you much.
day and night with his hook hands raised and clutched
but see the vitamin deficiency was strong
so by the time they bumped into the island he could barely lift his grog
crawled off the boat, collapsed in the sand
prayers in the air, seashells in his hand
an area high tide so grand
it’s the one that put the one that put
the lady of the lake on dry la-la-la-land

I wish i could tell you that it ended happy
pretend like his bones weren’t practically snapping
pretend like her gills didn’t dry up and suffer
but that’s a half-dead pirate and a fish outta water.
No lie, scout’s honor, got a million more
from the burgundy lighting above the shores of whores
before your delusions of grandeur go to swell those sails
remember that dead men tell no t-t-t-tales

walk the plank into the sea
splash

GTA Anime Mod

For those who don’t know, I love the Grand Theft Auto (GTA) series and I love anime. Now, I can enjoy both at the same time. This is an anime mod for the PC version of GTA. The gameplay is horrible but that isn’t the point here.

Congrats.

Congratulations to Al Gore for winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

Sick…

Home sick today. I can’t believe it’s October already. Almost one year at the job… a roller coaster ride of people and emotions. But who’s life isn’t, right? *We* finally have a day, Isabel and more to come.

Slowly but surely, I’ve been cleaning clutter from my life. Now you can too! lol. The site has some useful tips for cleaning, organizing, living, etc…

Music is still stagnant. I haven’t bought into the Kanye/48 50 Cent hype (when I want his two cents, I’ll ask for it). Almost anywhere I go in NY, I hear one of the two artist blaring from someone’s car. I’ll admit, Kanye’s single sounds more interesting than 50’s. Aesop Rock’s None Shall Pass has been bumpin’ in my ears as of late along with Blu & Exile’s Below The Heavens. Also keeping me entertained is Halo 3 and The Orange Box, which I just picked up yesterday. And while sick at home today, I finished Portal (a great puzzle game).

Thankfully, Heroes and South Park are back and Bleach is done with the useless filler. Plus, Gundam 00 has started.

Well, I’m going to lay down. Here’s hoping I’m well enough for work tomorrow.

Been a while…

Last weekend, I had a great time with Christine, Ernest, Jean, Ed, Ralph, & George. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to see Resident Evil but we all chilled and got some drinks around Midway. Pictures are posted on Flickr.

Tuesday, Sept. 25 was when Halo 3 officially dropped. Some of the new features are great. For instance; they’ve included 4 player campaign and video/image capturing. It hasn’t even been a week yet but my rank is rising. I can’t wait for the weekend. Also, I like how Bungi.net is incorporating stats, ranks, etc… online. As well as RSS feeds for games played.

in3br14t3d Halo 3 profile via Bungie.net.

Service Record. in3br14t3d’s Recent Games RSS. Career Stats (Ranked) (Social).

 

Total Games	66
Matchmade Games	32
Custom Games	28
Campaign Missions	6
Highest Skill	4
Total EXP	19

Also, last Saturday, Danny and I were able to do some shopping and bought some new toys. Isn’t chemistry great!

In The End…

Despite how things turned out, I don’t harbor any bad feelings towards you. In fact, I was really hoping that things would work out and we would stay together. I know that it is my fault that it didn’t and I accept responsibility. As I said though, I did want us to work out, more so, I wanted you to be happy. I’m sorry for all of the heartache and pain I’ve caused you. You deserve much more (and better). I hope that happiness finds you someday soon.

If you ever need an ear, I have two.

I love you.

Peace.